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Sinfully Seductive

By Wildside Liz

Dirty Talk - Advanced

Foreplay with Food

Open Relationships vs. Monogamy Is it just me, or are there some fundamental problems with strict monogamy? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not by any means saying we should bed every person we meet, or swap partners with all of our coupled friends - just that strict monogamy seems to do more damage than good. Monogamy carries with it: an unhealthy obsession with having one person to meet the majority of our needs, a condemnation to a lack of sexual fulfillment if a person’s partner can’t perform adequately or loses their ability to do so, a lack of variety in sexual partners possibly resulting in lost sex drive over time, and it makes life after the first person passes away incredibly difficult for the remaining partner. On a greater level, it condemns a possibly great new gene to extinction if the person that carries it couples with someone who has a terminal genetic issue, and it reduces the speed at which evolution occurs as there are less genetic combinations being formed... and that is just off the top of my head! Given this pretty ugly overview of monogamy, the question then becomes why it is that just about everyone is doing it? The first thought that comes to mind has to be tradition - but without logical reasoning, tradition does not mean much. We have many traditions due to the mental conditioning of people; an example is the stoning of people in some parts of the world who would dare insult "God" by working on the Sabbath. The second thought has more to do with biology, together with length of infancy and development for our species. Although very few species mate for life, there are many species that mate for the duration in which their offspring are developing only, if even that. Since we take a while to "grow up" or develop, a child with more then one parent has a better chance of surviving to its own propagation than a child with only one. But the same argument is stronger for open relationships if we were to embrace each other more freely as a "herd". The third thought is love and wanting to be together. Although love is truly a beautiful thing that most (if not all) of us could use more of, let’s discuss for a moment what type of love it is that we are experiencing in most relationships... Is it love of thy partner, or love of thy self? Here’s an easy question to figure that one out. Let's say you are with someone who makes you happier than anyone else you’ve ever been with. After some time, you call the feeling towards them love. Some time later you meet someone of your gender that you know 100% for sure would make a better monogamous mate for your partner than you. You have the ability to introduce them, so that the person you love could find higher levels of happiness… or do you not hook them up so that you can continue getting what you want? Since very few of the people I have polled have answered that they would sacrifice themselves, I would go so far as to say that true love is very different from this selfish concoction that most think it is! With the exception of the very valid concern about STD transmission, the only real challenges to 'Open Relationships' are people's internal demons (greed and jealousy), and recreating the social infrastructure so that we are not so easily divided and conquered. It seems pretty simple to me that this is the way we should be going, but obviously it's a lot easier said then done; but man can move mountains, even if its one stone at a time.

 

Dirty Talk - Advanced Now that you should hopefully have awakened your partner’s libido, it is time to put on that final touch. Check out my Dirty Talk Basic guide (if you haven't already) first, then read on below to refine and enhance those skills. Keep in mind the basic guidelines; like deep breaths and sounds, your words should also be in sync with the rhythm you have just created. The inhale breath should almost always be heard by your partner and you should speak in the "sexy voice" on the exhale breath. Enunciate all your words to your best degree. To begin you should focus on these following questions: Which of my partner’s skills or attributes turn me on? How do they make me feel? How am I feeling right now? Dirty talking is mostly concerned with momentous sayings, so you should try to let your instinct carry you. If you feel that your partner is hot, call it as it is: "you are so hot!" If you feel that their touch makes your genitals quiver, say it: "Your touch makes my cock/pussy quiver." If you feel that you are very hard/wet, state it: "I’m so hard/wet right now." However, a good rule of thumb is to avoid the word "because." You are not writing an essay question. This will avoid sounding dull and it will also add urgency. In a sense, you may be cramming a long portion of a sentence in an exhaling breath so this forces you to say it very quickly, which emphasizes that urge. For example: "You laying there naked makes my cock/pussy hard/wet because I find you to be so irresistible." You may be feeling this, but this is a bit long. Try separating the fragments with breaths. Long inhale, "You lying there naked," quick inhale “Makes my cock/pussy hard/wet" inhale "You’re irresistible." This style sounds more natural than mechanical, which is the intention of good dirty talk. Another added bonus of separating the sentence is that it allows you to think on the spot. You can simply state something with out wondering whether it’s long enough, or why you feel that way. State the phrase, breathe, and add to it. To turn up the dirty talking a bit, you should focus on this question: What do I want to happen to my partner or to me? Do not be intimidated. Think about things like foreplay, oral, anal, the use of toys, different positions, being spanked, etc. The answers to this question can be transformed into very naughty phrases. These are all within you, for only you know what you want. Ok, so you can cheat if you really need to: if you draw a complete blank, watching adult films for inspiration is always a possibility. Nevertheless, you should look deep within yourself and bare all your dirty fantasies. (Long inhale) "You just got out of the shower (couple of breaths), I just want to fuck you until you can't walk anymore (inhale), Cum/spray all over you (inhale) ... (quivering exhale/inhale), get you all dirty again." After letting out some of your wants and desires, you may want to consider adding some more emphasis on certain subjects. One option is to add those initial sounds as previously mentioned. "Uh (inhale), I want to eat out your pussy/suck your dick (inhale), aah." Repetition is used to emphasize the importance of an action. "Pound me! (Long inhale). Come on (quick inhale), pound me! (Inhale), pound me harder!" You can also use adjectives and adverbs. "My nipples want your soft lips to slowly suck them and then bite them hard." Using singular adjectives or adverbs can also be a relief from always hearing the combination of an adjective before a noun. Make sure to stress the last syllable in the word to create more of an impact. For example, the word "wet" should be pronounced as "wet-te." (Long inhale) "I love it when I/you push my/your cock so far into you/me (inhale), I feel it touching all your/my walls inside (inhale), warm (inhale), wet (inhale), moist (inhale), tight." To avoid sounding redundant with vocabulary, attempt using metaphors, such as "I want to feel my/your essence leaking out of me." For a more aggressive touch, using cursing can be quite thrilling. Compare “You are such a great lay" to "Holy shit! You are such a great fucking lay!" Other examples are "Fucking bang me harder, bitch/bastard," "Fucking smack my God-damned ass," and "Jesus, it just feels so bloody good that I want to fucking cum all over you." Here you are able to speak louder because these phrases tend to be more aggressive. Be sensitive to your partner's responses - some people may find it incredibly erotic (in the heat of the moment) to be referred to in an unusual (perhaps even degrading) way, such as a "my little whore" or "my dirty bastard", but others may be very offended. If you sense shock (or feel it yourself), then talk about it afterwards and re-assure each other that it is just 'play'. In any case (as with anything new) start off slowly, monitor the response - and adjust accordingly. Role-playing can also be considered a section of dirty talk because even though you may be acting, there is massive dialogue. Role-playing basically concentrates on acting on your or your partner’s fantasies. This tends to be more difficult because you need to fully understand your fantasies by knowing the role of both you and your partner. For example, you need to know if your partner ought to be dumb, wild, shy, mean, etc. An easy angle to start with is the dominant and submissive roles. You choose one of these roles while your partner must choose the opposing role or vice versa. The dominant figure tends to be more aggressive in their wants and desires. They must take charge: command and demand. "I am going to handcuff you to the bed, and you better not squeal." "Spread your legs now!" There are two sides of being submissive: the willing and the refusing. As a willing figure, you may decide to either solely perform the actions or perform with the purpose of liking them. If you are a refusing figure, you may decide to perform the commands while begging for mercy or perform after intense threats. In a case you are finding that your partner is having difficulty taking on the role of a dominant figure, you can then ask defiant questions. "What are you going to do if I refuse to even kiss you, never mind suck your cock / eat out your pussy?" If the dominant partner is still not responding, then you answer the questions. "Will he/she smack me, or pin me down?" Here the submissive partner is offering material that the dominant partner would hopefully be able to work with. There are many situations where dirty talking can be used in role playing: nurse and her not-so-sick patient, the student begging for a better grade, a master and his slave, Cleopatra seducing Caesar, popular cheerleader with the average guy, etc. Remember that the trick to having a great role-playing session is to act out exactly what you crave as long as it is to a safe degree. It is absolutely necessary to practice dirty talking with a partner that you are comfortable with. This will allow you to say exactly what you are striving for and in the end satisfy your wants and needs. Everyone has the potential of being a great dirty talker as long as you remember to work with your own instincts and try to be as natural as possible. The techniques and tips here are not etched in stone so feel free to add your personal style to them and to focus on your partner's feedback. Please keep in mind that practice makes perfect and that variety is the spice of life.

Foreplay With Food Foreplay is essential to a great sexual experience. But what happens when you've tried all the 'regular' warm-ups? What can you do to spice up sexual encounters with your long-term partner? What if you only have limited sexual experience and want to explore trying something new? One thing many people use to expand their sexual horizons is to involve food in foreplay. In this article, I explore how food can come into play during foreplay and sex. I ’ll look at a couple of tamer options, and a little from the more adventurous side. To start with, any sexually experienced person will tell you foreplay is essential to sex. Without it, the whole experience changes, often for the poorer. Foreplay is an essential part of building arousal, which is the major ingredient in great sex. But why food? As a starting point, you need to ask yourself if you think you’d be turned on by something a little different during one of your next sexual experiences. You may think that it’s a little strange, but if you are willing to try it out, you might discover a new way to expand your love life. If it sounds like something you or your partner might enjoy, just keep an open mind and give it a try. Many people have found it exotic and rewarding. On the other hand, it could sound like a good idea at first, but once you get into actually trying it, it may feel a little too strange for you, or for your partner. It’s important to stay honest with yourself and with your partner about it. If you're feeling too odd, just say so! Something like "you know Honey, this isn't really doing it for me; how about you?" It's important to ask how your partner feels, because if you're feeling odd, they might be too. If it doesn’t work for you, don't push it and ruin an otherwise great night of sex! Eating before foreplay Many people have used food in their foreplay before without realizing it. Ever share a fruit and cheese platter at bedside on a romantic evening? Maybe with the added touch of a little champagne? Probably the tamest of possibilities, eating sweet fruit and exotic cheeses as a lead-up to a sexual encounter is a fairly common experience. Although not considered a part of foreplay by many, the act of eating just prior to sex is, in fact, the first stages of foreplay. The food taste of food enhances a person’s awareness of their body, and can for some create feelings of comfort and even wealth, which can be a turn-on for many people. It tends to have a mood enhancing, almost aphrodisiac effect for many men and women. Try setting up a snack of fruit and cheeses along with a beverage as a way to seduce your partner. Grapes, strawberries, kiwi fruit, pineapple, mango, orange and apple slices, and small pieces of honeydew or watermelon all make good choices. For cheeses, try using thinly sliced cheddar or mozzarella, or if you're into more sophisticated flavors, ask the person at your local deli about more exotic cheeses like bree or smoked guerre. Impress your partner with a little knowledge of your subject at the same time. The fact that you’ve spent the time to prepare the snack, and even to learn a little about cheese, can be an extra turn-on for many. Talking about how good things taste is a great way to get your partner attuned to their senses, which can act to heighten states of arousal. Using food on your partners skin We’ve seen it in some of Hollywood's hotter love scenes – the ice cube run over naked skin. But have you ever thought of using a piece of fruit? This is the next step in exploring food foreplay. Try this simple sexual game with a piece of your favorite fruit. Take a piece of watermelon, strawberry, mango or any other juicy fruit and run it slowly over the erogenous zones of your partners’ body. Run the fruit slowly along lines that follow the contours of their body. Then use your tongue and follow the same path. It is sweet for you, and sensual and arousing to your partner. Again, if this sounds like a good idea, and you think your partner might enjoy it also, suggest it to them some time and gauge their interest. Using food in fellatio or cunnilingus Moving up on the ‘adventurous scale’, using food along with oral sex can also be an exciting new experience. The most popular items are whipped cream and strawberries, but many variations have been tried. Another common one is chocolate syrup. More than one woman have been known to keep a bottle of chocolate syrup next to their beds for just that purpose, giving their partners an added incentive to perform oral sex. However, it is very important not to place items with high sugar content into the vagina, which has a finely balanced environment that can be badly upset by the introduction of sugars, potentially resulting in unpleasant yeast infections. As a note – as the whipped cream, syrup, or fruit sugar begins to dry, things have the potential to get sticky. You may want to work a shower into the mix, or have a warm damp cloth near at hand. You can try a variety of different sweet substances to find the stuff that works just right. One piece of advice it that you might think about keeping the food items (fruit or what have you) out of the refrigerator at least an hour ahead of time to let them warm up to room temperature before use to avoid discomfort. Unless of course your partner likes the whole ice thing... Masturbation of self or partner with food items At the top of the ‘sexually adventurous scale’, for this article at least, is the actual use of food in masturbation. This often involves long, thin vegetables such as zucchini or cucumber, used in all the same ways you would use a penis or dildo. Care should be used with carrots, as they are fairly rough skinned, and must be used with care so to avoid abrasions. At the same time, many find the new texture exceptionally arousing, gaining them new heights of stimulation and orgasm. Here again you should consider warming the items up before actually using them in sex. Try letting them sit in a jar of warm water (not hot – we’re not making a stir fry here!) for five or ten minutes. Also, consider using some form of lube. Lube can improve the experience greatly, especially if it is flavored. I hope that these ideas have been helpful. If you think you might like it, go ahead and give it a try! Many people find that using food in foreplay has made a very sensual addition to their sexual repertoire.